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Return to 2008
Speeches
Global
Summit of Women 2008
HOW TO NEGOTIATE
2008 Global Summit of Women
Melia Hotel – Hanoi, Vietnam
Saturday, June 7, 2008- 4:30 – 6:00 pm
I am delighted to be here today at the 18th
Global Summit of Women. We are here to encourage thinking in new ways about
women’s leadership, its unique nature, expression and challenges. Specifically
in this session, we want to share our thoughts on maximizing our power of
negotiation.
I would like to start with the proposition
that in business you don’t necessarily get what you deserve – you get what
you negotiate.
The differences in how men and women
negotiate have been used to explain the gender gap in wages and may also explain
the low numbers of women executives in corporations, partners in law firms and
accounting firms, and directors on boards.
The good news is that as women, I truly believe, that we have a natural
propensity for a more sophisticated and effective type of negotiation. Rather
than viewing negotiation as an aggressive or adversarial act, women can make the
most of negotiation by reframing it as an opportunity to set the stage for a
business relationship that will last long after the ink has dried. In order to
reap the benefits of effective negotiation, goodwill and collaboration are
needed.
Build trust and credibility
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In a highly competitive marketplace, key
differentiators are often measured by intangible values. The way you conduct a
negotiation and the value you place on reputation and building trust and
credibility will resonate long after you’ve reached the finish line.
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Start with respect. There is a value in
respectful behavior that money can't buy. Your candor, openness and
credibility will set the tone for the rest of the meeting.
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However, don’t confuse respectful behavior
with the desire to be “nice.” In the domain of negotiation, the proper
attitude and drive doesn’t mean making a concession for the sake of harmony.
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Express your thoughts as hypotheses,
perceptions or interpretations, rather than statements of fact or personal
judgments. “My conclusions so far, based on my experience of what has
happened and the information available to me….”
Be an active listener
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On the most basic level, you have to be a
good listener. Let the other person express themselves without interruption –
don’t butt in.
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Listening affords an opportunity to
discover what matters to this person, including biases, hot buttons and
limitations.
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At the same time, you also need to be aware
of your own sensitivity – your own biases and hot buttons – and work hard to
achieve a level of objectivity.
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Being comfortable with yourself and who you
are and not over-reacting to another’s perspective is an essential component
in being able to negotiate successfully.
Letting your feelings be hurt can put you on
the defensive – not a good position from which to negotiate.
Do your homework
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The more data you collect, the better deals
you will make.
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The target you set for your negotiation
should be:
- Realistic –
something understandable and potentially agreeable to the other side.
- Ambitious (pushing
the limits of what is possible)
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Objective or realistic standards can be
whatever benchmarks are useful and create and atmosphere of fairness. Setting
objective standards helps to establish precedent for future negotiations,
preserves relationships and avoids threats and stonewalling that damage future
prospects for negotiation.
What does the other party want?
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In addition to baseline standards, it is
important to determine the other negotiator’s “wish list.”
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Develop a list of comments and questions
that have a specific purpose – to test your assumptions about the negotiator’s
“wish list” and to understand the needs of the other side.
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By getting a dialogue going, you are
directing the negotiation, helping to clarify needs and define the most likely
consequences of no agreement.
Explore options without commitments
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Map out a bargaining range where it’s safe
to brainstorm options, rather than staking your claim up front, which sets the
stage for making concessions and splitting the difference.
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After you have explored the range of
potential agreement, you can begin the actual collaboration of decisions and
commitments.
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Each negotiator should have a clear choice
between no deal at all and the best outcome on which both can agree.
Understand the Crucial Gap
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Negotiation experts tell us that 80% of
what the other side throws at you to gain leverage is about the consequences
of failing to reach agreement.
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Defining the gap between what separates
agreement is crucial and helps you to negotiate your best value proposition.
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“I know X is important to you, but I’ve
thought of other things that might be equally valuable. Am I accurate on
these things?”
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Getting to the crucial gap and designing an
offer that the other side finds attractive is not complicated, but does mean
doing your homework and taking emotion out of the picture.
Lessons Learned from Experience
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Break down barriers of distrust by being
open and forthright - Be the first to share information – key interests,
concerns and constraints.
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Attempt to discover the other party’s
limitations – time pressures, obligations to other parties, etc.
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Don’t just focus on what the other
party wants – but why they want it.
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“No” is not the final answer. If your
offer is rejected, don’t presume there is nothing left to do.
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If you want to “win” you have to help the
other party walk away from the table with dignity and pride intact.
Whether it’s a global high stakes deal making
or engaging with shareholders, customers or suppliers, our ability to negotiate
successfully with people having different interests and perceptions can make the
difference between a bad outcome and damaged relationships and a positive new
venture and strategic alliance.
The best negotiators have reframed our
understanding of the process of negotiation. They look beyond the narrow
confines of the negotiating table for a broader view of understanding and
influencing outcomes. I would encourage you to look at negotiation as a
communication process that seeks to persuade by creating goodwill and long term
sustainable value.
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