The Global Summit of Women 2009

Santiago, Chile

May 14-16

Presentation on “Second Chance:

Overcoming Fear of Failure”

By Leah Brown, President, A10 Clinical Solutions (USA)

Here I stand before you, a single parent raising two teenage boys; with the closest blood relative living 8 hours away from my home. I should fear fear; shouldn’t I?… but I don’t…and it interesting why.

It all started as a young girl living in New Jersey. I was an oversized lanky black girl who was raised by a disable mother stricken with Muscular Dystrophy. Growing up my chores including taking at the garbage, the dishwasher and picking up mom when she fell and pushing her in her wheelchair down the grocery aisle. My life as I knew it was spattered with uniqueness, that was treated as normal so as to not to be distracted to the more important things in life, like education.

After one too many house thefts, I remember when mom told my Dad, both underpaid school teachers; we had to move from the city ghetto to the supposed good life; of Suburban USA. Yes, the good life.

Once moved in --- reality struck. I remember putting on my blue jeans and pink top with the red butterfly print on it and was looking forward to the first day of my new school. I thought I look pretty! I walked out the front door only to be glared back by big black “x”s spray painted across our new yellow bungalow. My mother hurry me off as to pretend I didn’t see this horrific scene…but then my first day at the new school was soon tainted with kids calling me baboon butt and cotton candy head. I can still hear the boys chanting voices in my head “Come here Monkey and get your banana”.

I stand before, humbled by the fact, from early in my youth, I was treated by society that I was only a black American girl and that failure, defeat, and doom was an accepted alternative for me.

Finally after year of running shamefully after success that I had been brainwash I couldn’t have….I had an idea, I had a vision, that I could make a difference to help people like my mom, and my uncle who was died of HIV/AIDS, my grandfather who passed from heart disease; .that I can help your mom, and your uncle and your loved ones….and make my mission something much bigger than then my 4^th grade cotton candy hair and black Xs on our tiny yellow house. I had a second chance. A chance to undue the hatred of people like me….to unravel the stereotypes that only white men can could handle the complexities of clinical research.

With the combination of a $50,000 severance check and additional loan by the Bank of “MOM” I started a clinical trials company that after only 4 years in business will surpass the $10 Million mark!

Did I fear failure? No, because when you have been told by society that you are a failure as a birthright….you don’t fear it. Now that I think about it, it’s really sad; I thought I was a failure….just by my mere existence. I never talked about…I just lived in it. Thank you for this therapy session.

It has taken some time to separate the feeling of failure from me personally; as a person. I have come to realize some of my life’s entrepreneurial mistakes; such as a bad employee hires, hanging onto non-paying clients too long and the list can go on….were not failure…just misfortunes that make my life a little more entertaining to tell about. From all of these challenges, I CREATED 2nd chances.

Second chance is your way to remediate problem quickly, get other involved for support and guidance. Understand your strengths and weaknesses, and managing to that according.

The key to remember is that these misfortunes have nothing to do with you the “person”. It has to do with some of the actions or decisions that you may have taken. Some good…some not so good. We can’t beat ourselves up about bad decision that we will make as entrepreneurs, if we do, it is almost like us calling ourselves balloon-butt and cotton-candy head. It’s self destructive. If we don’t make mistakes we will not learn. If we aren’t learning as entrepreneurs, we will not remind as entrepreneurs --- because our business can’t evolve, grow and prosper without failure, without mistakes. Embrace it, don’t fear it. You will always have second chances.

Thank you!